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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A worst night in my life....prior IITJEE 2005-06

Day before Yesterday night, I was trying to sleep early for the next day's performance in Patni's interview, but I couldn't .Then all of a sudden I recalled the same experience in the past, the right thing at the right time could have changed a lot in my life.
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I feel dreaded when I remember that night
It was 13th of April 2005 ,00:05 a.m.
I decided to sleep then, for early morning we had the SCREENING test of IITJEE.It was scheduled to be in St Michael's school beside Gandhimaidan Patna.
.I wasn't able to sleep.All those things that i studied,which grilled me for three four years, came down rushing as if they were knocking my head.In that dark unplastered room of our newly built home,things were getting more and more sombre, every moment I turned my side.I just could not sleep.Everything of,& organic equations, inorganic formulaes, moleculer structure, different laws of chemistry physics and mathematics intertwined with plethora of questions were coming down my head.The more I tried to part with them the more in number they downpoured. Imagine when you want some four five hours of sound sleep , you beg your body and soul for it & in turn you find your self helpless.You think of not thinking anything but what you get in turn is a lot of thing to think.Then you curse your brain & have a sense of pity on yourself that you cannot just have a control on these flying bugs.
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I was still trying to sleep.Gauche ! It was 3' o clock now.Now I was able to hear some chirping birds and the brawls of crows.Its time they all have gotten up.I started weeping.I squat down, held my hairs with both my palms & forced them to come off my head.I wished I could have sleeping pills .I wished I could be a drunkard.I wished I could have a technical switch which could bring me down.Why couldn't I sleep, I had studied well inspite of hell lot of time & efforts in building our home.That only I know how well did I managed the classes and the labour back home.I am not a dumb person.THEN WHY I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP?
I went up , the garage top room where my myumma sister and brother were sleeping.I quietly woke up my mother and called her down.I told her everything and she was seeing tears in my eyes which was quite unexpected. She took no time to understood and thought to do a massage of my head.That gave me some relief .she was there all this time and I just kept my eyes closed .I dont know whether I slept or not but the mind was heavy in the morning.
To add to it we had a powercut in our home since 5 am. Things were sombre the way i didn't expect. Had to go out without having my breakfast & only one person to wish me My best luck .

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Its hard to see your brain , your mind not obeying you when you urgently want them to act as your friend..I had to bear some repurcussions and I bet you must also have encountered some such sort.
Experienced??

1 comment:

raju said...

Dillu..Mere bhai ... Purani batain bhul jao.. jitna yaad rakhoge utni taqleef hogi.. Talk to me over phone.